Join · me · down · the · rabbit's · hole...

Wow, so it has been 61 weeks since I wrote anything in here. It took me 5 tries of logging in before I got the correct password.

Going to Linkin Park tonight! I am so excited I can't stand it.

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with my many jobs.

1. Mom
2. Medical Assistant
3. Shot Girl
4. Model/Recruiter/scheduler/editor

It's good though, I need to be busy.

Wow, long time since I updated it feels like. I'm externing right now. Its great. I love the medical field. And I'm pretty sure I'm getting hired on with one of the doctors I'm working for. So woo hoo for me! Externing sucks, working for free blows. But everyone usually has to do it at one point or another. I think it will be tons of fun to be a nurse. I want to work for at least six months before I go back to school though.

Tom got a new job, working at Sam Ash. He friggin loves it, which is good. I'm having to hear all about music equipment though which is really boring, but its nice to see him happy so I pretend to be interested just as I'm sure he does for me when I blab about anything medical.

I'm a dork and I've been looking at tons of wedding magazines. And Tom isn't very good at surprises, hes going to propose to me sometime in the near future. Yea :) Its most likely going to be at least a year and 1/2 before the wedding, but its fun to plan now. Now that my sister has had her wedding shes excited to help somebody plan theirs. The bridal shower is going to be a "psychic" theme, and im going to have a tarot card reader/psychic there. As for the wedding its going to be a "gothic victorian masquerade". And the date is around October 10 or the 13th. It's exciting.

Weeelll. Thats enough for now. Tadios.

Soooo. I have a photo shoot today. I'm excited. It's been since December since we last shot. I really need the money right about now too. I need to talk to Mark, the photographer, about whats going on with starting our site. That would be the best thing ever. Regular photo shoots, extra monthly income. The best thing about shooting with mark is that its not pornographic and no nudity. Its fabulous!

Stolen from endlessodyssey:

Ten Years Ago:

How old were you?: 13

What school year were you in?: 8th grade

Where did you go to school?: Ridgeview middle school

Where did you work? Nowhere

Where did u live?: Columbus, Ohio

Where did you hang out?: At the park or friends houses 

What was your hair style?:I think a red or brown color, and to my shoulders

Did you wear braces?: never

Did you wear glasses?: only to see far away

Who was your best friend?: Stephanie and michelle

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend: didnt really have one

Who was your celebrity crush? i think brad pitt

How many piercings did you have? just my lobes

How many tattoos did you have?: none

What was your favorite band? Oldies station baby

What was your biggest fear? cant remember 

Had you smoked a cigarette yet? A year later

Had you gotten drunk or high yet?: Again, a year later

Had you driven yet?: my aunts car in a parking lot

5 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 18

What school year were you in?: just graduated HS

Where did you go to school?: Centennial HS

Where did you work? Manhattans

Where did u live?: Columbus, OH

Where did you hang out?: My apartment and work

What was your hair style?: short brownish red

Did you wear braces?: no

Did you wear glasses?: Again, to see far away

Who was your best friend?: Stephanie, and then michelle, but she was starting to drift away.

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend: Josh

Who was your celebrity crush? Marilyn Manson

How many piercings did you have? 1 in each ear, and both nipples

How many tattoos did you have?: two on my back

What was your favorite band? Linkin Park and Manson

What was your biggest fear? Having a heart attack from all the speed

Had you smoked a cigarette yet? Every day

Had you gotten drunk or high yet?: Too many times, its sad.

Had you driven yet?: yes

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HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!
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How old are you?: 23

What school year are you in? almost done with MA school, then moving on to nursing.

Where do you go to school?: Bryman

Where do you Work now? Sirens

Where do u live?: Columbus, Ohio

Where do you hang out?: My house with the baby.

How is your hair style? Lil past my shoulders, close to my natural brown

Do you wear glasses?: To see far and drive

Who is your best friend? Josh and Tom

Who is your celebrity crush? Rose McGowan

Who is your regular-person crush?: Tom

How many piercings do you have?: 1 in each ear and my lip

How many tattoos do you have? 4

Favorite band(s)? manson, linkin park

Have you driven yet? not for the past 5 months, one more month to go and i get to drive again!!!!!

Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: Only when I drink, which oddly enough is not very often anymore.

Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: No more drugs for the girl in a long while.  I drink about once or twice a month.

Half of my class is sick, hell, half the school is sick. And of course I'm getting sick now too. I swear I have some sort of a cold or something every other month. The sickness in my class is getting so bad, some students are wearing surgical masks to help block out the germs. I need to work tomorow night. Hopefully I'm not going to feel like ass. I need money for my phone and money for this weekend.

This weekend the Gifts of Light Expo at the Vets memorial. It should be fun. They always are. There are several seminars I want to sit in on. And I can't wait to get a reading from the woman I went to last year. She was great. Eee, I'm excited.

A girl from my class and I brought in sperm samples today to look at under the microscope. I obtained my sample from Tom this morning. Nice way to start off the day :) I brought in his semen and put it under the scope. It is really amazing. Very interesting to see it in person. And with the amount of sperm he has I doubt I will have any problem getting pregnant when we are ready. Hell, I'm surprised I'm not pregnant yet from his abundance of swimmers. I looked at the other sample of sperm, the one the girl in my class got from her husband, and he had hardly any sperm. Which is sad because they're trying to get pregnant. Now after seeing Tom's semen up close and personal in a new way like that, really makes me think differently on all those cum shots you see in pornos. Neat neat stuff.

Wellll I'm spending money on something pointless, but I dont care. Tanning. Makes me feel good. And I love the porcelain pale look, just not so much on me. I'm getting a nice tan going on. I'm going out with people from school on Friday. At least I'm supposed to. Hopefully Josh still watches the baby. I just realized how random my blogs are. I jump from one topic to the next like its nothing. Anyway, back to the baby. She is so cute today. well cute everyday, but extra cute today. Her hair is up, shes in a pink girly dress, white ruffle socks, and pink patent shoes. She is the epitomy (sp) of girly.

I tried to talk to someone at school today about taking a leave of absence until I get my license back, but LOA's are for medical reasons only. The lady who helped me was very nice. She ended up finding me a lady who lives near me and goes to class the same time as me, to give me rides when I need them. So I now have several options for rides to school. My big concern now is still the baby sitting situation. Some of my sitters arent the most reliable commitment-wise. I applied for Title 20, daycare assistance from the state. I only got approved for $400 a month. Ever daycare I looked at is about $700-800. Right now only being able to work one night a week, I cant afford an extra $300 a month. I need to contact the state again, and see how I can be eligible for more. Every other single mom who makes as much money as I do, gets their daycare paid for completely. I am so stressed out right now. Mostly it all comes down to money. Actually, thats what it all comes down to. Money is the fucking devil. Blah.

Well I didnt wear any green today, and I guess it's been bad luck a little bit. I was half an hour late to school and I couldnt open the lab drawers with a key to save my life. I'm going into work in a little bit, hopefully my luck will be good. Granted luck is what you make of it, you are in control (to a degree) of making your own luck, whether it be good or bad. But I'm also a silly superstitious girly who is going to put on something green right when I get into work. And I need to eat some potatoes and corned beef, gotta represent my heritage.

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say. Hopefully at work a buch of drunkards all happy about a holiday that is basically devoted to drinking, will give me all their money. Sounds like a happy st.patricks day to me :)

My poor dog, I love him so much. Tom hates him, well he doesnt HATE him, he just doesnt really like him. I really dont understand what to do about this dogs housebreaking issue. I've tried every form of training him not to go in the house, but he insists on doing it anyway. Some days he is the best dog ever, and wont have an accident in the house for 3 days, then its like hes making up for being so good, and acts like an asshole, and pisses and craps in the house 5 times in one day. I dont know what to do. Hes a smart dog. Hes still a puppy (10 months) so hes got lots of energy, but he learns quickly. The only thing he isnt grasping is the concept of keeping my floors feces and urine free. Ahhhhhhh. If anyone has any help and is reading this, PLEASE give me some advice.

Woohoo. Workout number 3 down. Proud of myself. Work was great last night. I was so full of confidence and was having a blast and I made money. I'm working tomorow night too, hopefully it goes just as well. Last night was definetly one of the best nights at work in a looooong while.

I'm hungry. And sleepy. Off I go.

I just did my clinical final for class and I got 100%!! We had to do a successful blood draw, and change the tube out twice, while being professional and acting as if our classmate was our patient. We had to do all this while the whole class and instructor stared at you in complete silence, watching your every move. Pretty scary. So I'm passing with an A+. My test grades have been 92,93,96, 100. Yippee!

As for my workout, I exercised again last night. It was so much harder than the first one, as my muscles were still pretty sore. I am determined to workout every other day. I also cut out a bunch of victoria secrets models dressed scantily in bikinis and lingerie to help motivate me. Theyre plastered on my cabinets in the kitchen, and in the bathroom. I'm sure my boyfriend loves it.

Happy days :)

I just did my first workout with Mark. My arms feel like jello. It is hard for me to even be typing right now. Pathetic how out of shape I am. I did all kinds of arm exercises with weights, lunges, squats, and some ab work with this fun contraption. I am determined however to lose 20 pounds by my sisters wedding in June. I must keep up with this workout stuff. I WILL keep up with it this time.

I watched the movie Secretary last night and I really like it. I like the story line and I really like how the movie was done. Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good actress. Well I guess that is all I have to say for now.

Oh also, just cause it made me happy. I just bought a ringtone for my phone. I've never had one before so it made me giddy. I bought Manson's sweet dreams. I get excited every time my phone rings.

I figured it was about time to update. been about forever. But then I saw a comment from my cousin ordering me to update, I thought about not updating just to spite her. But I wanted to update anyway so bah. Concerts. I've been wanting to go to a show in forever. Here are some upcoming ones that I want to go to:

Rob Zombie & lacuna coil
taproot
ministry
crossbreed

Too bad crossbreed is in like a week and in cleveland. Dont think I'm making it to that one. I really want to make it to zombie and lacuna coil. tickets arent tooooo expensive.

I get to go to my cousins play. Its a serious play, but I think I am most likely going to laugh several times throughout it. I'm sure she would do the same if I were in a play. I'm really going to giggle at her one line she recited for the family a few weeks ago. Too funny.

Weeeeee 20 more mins of computers class and then lunch, and then I get to stick more people. I've been on a roll with my blood draws. I'm determined to do 4 today. I would do more, but whenever I do someones, they turn around and ask to do yours. And I dont like being stuck more than twice in each arm.

OKay then. I think I'm done now. Still bored alicia?

-3 days jail
-3 days rehab center(costs about $350)
-$350 fine
-license suspended 6 months/no driving privelidges
-$court costs (not sure about price yet)
-probation for one year
-85 days suspended jail time
-$10 MADD seminar for 2 hours

This girl has DEFINETLY learned her lesson......DEFINETLY.

****Good news though, things are starting to get into motion for my website :) That makes me happy.

Well I'm at school, done with class, but sitting here waiting until I can go to my doctors appointment in 45 mins. I have some time to kill. Here are some quiz results, they seem to be pretty right on.

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet.

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

Hahah this next ones stupid. I act exactly what my age is, apparantly.

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

So last night was just dandy. I deserved everything that happened to me, and thank Goddess nothing much worse occured. I left work last night, get off my exit to go home, look behind me in the rearview mirror and see a cop. That shouldnt be TOO bad of a thing, except that I was trashed. (and no lectures on driving drunk, i was being a complete idiot, this I know). I stop my car, the officer comes to my window, talks to me for a moment, asks me to step out of the car and then proceeds to give me the oh so famous "sobriety test". Which needless to say, as I'm bawling my eyes out and practically falling over on one foot, I failed. He then tells me to put my hands behind my back, and arrests me. That was fun. I had to go downtown, do some paperwork, took a breathalizer test (legal limit is .08 i was a .209), then he nicely took me home. I now have a court date on the 13th. I hope to god I dont go to jail. I was crying the whole damn night. I deserve it all, and I have thoroughly learned my lesson.

As if I wasnt broke before, I now have to pay to get my car out of impound, pay for an attorney (if i want a decent one), pay a fine I'm sure the judge will give me. Bahlksdhglksa. AND even without having been to court yet, I have already lost my license for 90 days, more if the judge wishes. Hopefully I will get driving privelidges for school.

Yes, it does suck that this happened, and that I have to pay this money I do NOT have, but its better than me having injured or killed someone, or me getting injured or killed. Makayla isnt ready to live without a mom.

I now have a police record.

I like it when it's cold. It's so lovely. However I wish it were 50-70 year round. Maybe 75. And I wish it were sunny, it gets a lil depressing when its gray all the time.

My hands are so dry from washing them all the time in lab. I'm proud of myself, I'm catching up on all my injections, and I only need 3 more blood draws to be caught up on those. I really need to go get my hep shots or I wont be able to do my externship.

My poor puppy has worms, I noticed a huge long ugly worm in his stool this morning. Tom is taking him to the vet today. When we got him, the people we got him from said he had his first shots and everything. Obviously they were lying. Shouldn't have believed them. My poor Eros.

I'm going to Kentucky this weekend. It should be fun, I think I'm going horseback riding. I wish Marian would go with me, but shes being a big grumpy dork, and making up lame excuses. Spit on her then. Boo.

Hopefully I can get the chance soon to talk to Mark, my photographer, so we can get the ball rolling on my website. How fun.

I just realized how random this entry is. It's all over the damn place.

I saw a news segment yesterday talking about how the state of Kansas voted to have added into their schools science books, not only the theory of evolution, but also the theory of divine intervention.

I can see how it would be good to have several theories of how we got here and how we are the way we are, but I dont think religion should be taught in schools. At least in public schools. This is a very touchy subject obviously, and many people in Kansas are upset about this.

Perhaps the teachers should just mention the theory of God creating humans, but not TEACH anything about it. It isnt religion class.

bahhhajhkdajlsd theres so many things I have to say about this and religion and how science and religion are so different yet so the same, but it will take too long to type and I'm horrid with words, so I will end up contradicting myself and have people comment on my hypocracy (sp).

I think I just really need to have a good philosophical talk with someone. Haven't had one of those in awhile.